Old Johnny Bucker he lived by himself
As long as he had perfect health,
Then one day he took himself a wife
To look after him for the rest of his life
And it's I do believe, I do believe,
Old Johnny Bucker was a gay old bugger
And a gay old bugger was he.
Old Mrs Bucker she had a bad leg
And the doctor ordered her to bed
He told Johnny when he came in
That he'd have to rub his wife's bad leg with gin!
Old Johnny Bucker he thought it was a sin
To rub his wifes bad leg with gin
He took the gin and poured it down his throttle
And he rubbed his wife's bad leg with the bottle!
Old Johnny Bucker went walking one day
Down by the river he happened to stray
He fell in and he began to shout
But there was no bugger there for to pull the bugger out!
Well, the Lord made the bees and the bees made honey
The Lord made man and man made money
Well the Lord made the devil and the devil made sin
So we'll have to dig a hole for to put the bugger in!