Billy Connolly
YouTubeYes my granny is a cripple in Nashville, friends 
This story I tell you true 
One day she went out on her wheelchair 
Never knowing it had a loose screw 
Well a wheel came off of that wheelchair, friends 
And on three wheels it trundled away 
And it trundled right over the edge of a cliff 
In an old seaside town far away 
Now the boy who was pushing the wheelchair 
Was a little blind orphan called Joe 
And he said, "Oh where is my grannie?" 
And where did that damn wheelchair go 
Well he ran off to search for that wheelchair friends 
But his sightless eyes led him astray 
And he ran right over the edge of the cliff 
In that old seaside town far away 
Well somebody sent for a doctor 
And an ambulance too, it was called 
And the people who lived in the neighbourhood 
Stood around and they cried, how they bawled 
Well the doctor and the ambulance came rushing, friends 
They were rushing from two different ways 
And they crashed with a BIFF and shot over the cliff 
In that old seaside town far away 
Well they sent for brave Father Maloney 
To pray for the poor souls' repose 
And he said, "Well now that we're gathered here, good people" 
"Well we might as well pray I suppose" 
But too many people had gathered 
And the edge of the cliff gave way 
And they dropped with a yell and they all shot straight to hell 
In that old seaside town so terribly far away 
 
