Push for PORTER

You may talk of Columbus's sailing,
Across the Atlantical Sea,
But he never tried to go railing,
From Ennis as far as Kilkee.
You run for the train in the morning,
The excursion train starting at eight.
You're there when the clock gives the warning,
And there for an hour you will wait.
And as you're waiting in the train,
You'll hear the guard sing this refrain:

Are you right there, Michael, are you right?
Do you think that we'll be there before the night?
"Oh ye've been so long in startin',
That ye couldn't say for certain,"
Still ye might now, Michael, so ye might.

They find out where the engine's been hiding,
And it drags you to sweet Corofin.
Says the guard: "Back her down on the siding.
There's a goods from Kilrush coming in."
Perhaps it comes in in two hours,
Perhaps it breaks down on the way.
"If it does," says the guard, "by the powers,
We're here for the rest of the day."
And while you sit and curse your luck,
The train backs down into a truck.

Are you right there, Michael, are you right?
Have ye got the parcel there for Mrs. White?
Oh ye haven't, oh begorra.
Say it's comin' down tomorra.
And it might now, Michael, so it might.

At Lahinch the sea shines like a jewel,
With joy you are ready to shout,
When the stoker cries out: "There's no fuel,
And the fire's tee-totally out!
But hand up that bit of a log there,
I'll soon have ye out of the fix,
There's a fine clamp of turf in the bog there,
And the rest go a-gatherin' sticks."
And while you're breakin' bits off trees,
You hear some wise remarks like these:

"Are you right there, Michael, are you right?
Do ye think that you can get the fire to light?
Oh, an hour you'll require,
For the turf it might be drier.
And it might now, Michael, so it might."

Kilkee! Oh you never get near it!
You're in luck if the train brings you back,
For the permanent way is so queer,
It spends most of its time off the track.
Uphill the old engine is climbin',
While the passengers push with a will,
You're in luck when you reach Ennistymon,
For all the way home is downhill.
And as you're wobblin' through the dark,
You hear the guard make this remark:

"Are you right there, Michael, are you right?
Do you think that you'll be home before it's light?"
"Tis all dependin' whether,
The old engine holds together."
And it might now, Michael, so it might.